I Am Not Sorry.

Stop saying “sorry” and take back your potential.

Let’s talk about the illegitimate overuse of the word “sorry.” Ladies, we are the toughest peacemakers out there - why does it feel like we need to compulsively apologize instead of speaking up. Sloane Crosley wrote an op-ed about a woman’s tendency to apologize that points out that saying “sorry” many of times serves as a “poor translation for a string of expletives.” She isn’t wrong. Not only can it serve as a poor translation, but also as a way women fill the silence and attempt to keep peace. Have you done this before? And, if so, do you agree? Why do you feel as if you need to be the peacemaker?

When we say “I’m sorry” we undervalue ourselves. Instead of saying we are sorry and feeling as if our tail is between our legs, why not own the mistake and run with it? Let’s start to be intentional in our language, even when we are wrong. After-all, language is power and to be the real strong women we are we need to take the first step in changing our vocabulary first in the workforce and secondly in our everyday lives.

I cut the words “I am sorry” out of my vocabulary about a year ago, and truthfully I believe it made me forced to confront my mistakes head on by having to use lines like: “That was my mistake. I will [xxx] in the future. Thank you for making me aware.” In these new strategies, I directly acknowledge my failure, pledge to perform better - making myself aware and indirectly asking to be held accountable - and instead of giving the expected disagreement or throwing blame I thank them for their communication effort. I encourage you to brainstorm & create your own lines/phrases to replace the mundane “I’m sorry” cop-out where you aren’t actually taking accountability.

While I am telling you to apologize thoughtfully, also make sure to remember you wear pants too and an apology is not necessary in every situation. In my opinion, apologies don’t increase forgivenesses, but remind the other individual that you are accepting the blame.

Let’s not be sorry about our previous lacking word choice, but stand to execute better solutions to making peace. Therefore, be you and apologize sparingly.