It’s A Man’s World - Even In The Bathroom
Well, it’s been a minute since I sat down to write. This past year has been interesting for all of us, but it’s safe to say the Man’s World has not changed yet. Went back to the office for the first time and on my first day in a newly renovated space the first few hours did not have a bathroom to relieve myself in. Honestly, I laughed.
The guys in the office were giving me a tour and they handed me the key cars saying - this is where the bathroom pass it. I noticed it said “Men’s Restroom” and just assumed that it was the standard key. After about 30 minutes in on my first day, I had to use the restroom, grabbed the pass, and went on my way. The women’s bathroom is a pretty long walk outside the hall. Upon arrival, I realized that the “Men’s Bathroom” pass did not give me access to the women’s bathroom. When I returned I scavenged through the office before having to ask the awkward question to my male superior - who is significantly older and makes at least 4x my pay level - with my legs crossed of how I can get access to be able to use a bathroom. Confused and then embarrassed for me, he looked around the office for a “Women’s Guest Bathroom” pass. After about ten minutes in this uncomfortable situation, he showed me the [Men’s] executive suite (code-protected bathroom), punched me in, and then told me I could go in there whenever. How kind - since there was no other restroom I could get into!
I took matters into my own hands and emailed a woman who previously worked in the administration section of the building. She provided my context to where I could find the women’s guest pass for my second day.
Two things here:
A “Women’s Guest Pass:” why is the only form of a female’s restroom pass specifically for guests?
Why were no additional actions taken to help find a way to create or find a pass once there was a temporary solution?
About three hours later one of the male directors in the firm came by my desk to greet me. His first comment was, “How are you doing? These guys gave you a tour, right? And, showed you where the restroom is?” I timidly responded “Yes” as they technically did show me the restroom. And before I could mention the issue, he quickly smirked and said “Glad to know these guys aren’t acting like animals.”
Toxic Masculinity is still alive, baby - flashback to a Streetcar Named Desire: Marlon Brando. Although I would love to meet the equivalent me, I’ll never be the cuffed with this type of man because they don’t think women in this industry who can sometimes be classified as ball-busters have intentions of getting married. In just the past week I was told in conversation “Oh, I didn’t realize you were trying to get married.”
To caveat this anecdote with positive thoughts; I have been poking fun at the situation realizing that the guys understood for the first time they were in a new territory in their unchanged 1990s style office culture. I think most women would frame this by having the 2021 idea of “I [a woman] feel oppressed” and am “ashamed at the lack of inclusion.” Yet, I see this differently where I quite literally put the others in my office in an uncomfortable situation. Just like I would relieve myself in the women’s bathroom, I plan to not hold back opinions and relieve my thoughts to the others in my office.
Diversity of thought is an ideal that will always ring true just like Jack’s comment in the Lord of The Flies “After all, we're not savages.” At least “animals” aren’t all savages right?
Hopefully, no one takes this entry too seriously as this is just a parody, but if Cher and I were the same age I would say she read my mind when she said: “I love men. I think men are the coolest.”
Cheers to another embarrassing situation in Corporate America.
